long time, no posting

June 16, 2017 jbaird

It has been far too long since I have posted anything. There have been far too many setbacks and scans and appointments jammed into my life these last few years. Regrettably I have neglected my writings and musings. But when Karen, a beautiful blogger whisperer as I now call her, died this morning, I was prompted once again to write a blog post.

As a stage 4 breast cancer blogger with bone and brain mets,  I was forced into a totally different category from those with no terminal illness diagnosis. I felt isolated and alone. The “go-to” place for me was http://www.inspire.com, which gave me a great outlet for my pent-up frustrations and worries. They gave me answers to questions that only very few people could answer, even among the stage 4 crowd. Who had brain involvement? Did it involve surgery or radiotherapy or both? Have they had multiple zaps of radiotherapy? Did they get second opinions? Was more dental work involved due to unending chemo?

These questions should not have to be addressed at all, especially when others my age were enjoying leisurely retirement, including painting, playing ukulule, and traveling to exotic places. But here was I, single and battling this malady with all the dignity of a 90-year old body.

Jealous? You betcha. But life goes on and you learn to live with it. With all its ups and downs. Some days are good and some days not as much. But the people I have gotten to know are the gems. They give me rides, offer food, spend holidays with me, play games and shop and pray. They are what keep me going, getting up every day despite disturbing side effects with pesky annoyances.

In November I will likely reach the 5-year mark since diagnosed with the dreaded stage 4 bombshell. Every 3 months I suffer the scan for the brain and every six months I endure the CT scan for the rest of the body. Life goes on. The cycle continues and I press on, knowing that a day will come when I can fight it no longer. In the meantime I meet up with friends and relatives and do the best I can, no longer so scared of ending up in hospice.  And my first grandchild was born a few months back!

That’s my story for the foreseeable future, and I am good with it. Really!


Entry Filed under: Uncategorized

2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Woman in the Hat  |  June 16, 2017 at 10:18 pm

    Congratulations on your first grandchild. I’m so glad you’re able to enjoy that wonderful milestone.

  • 2. Weekly Round Up: Remember&hellip  |  June 18, 2017 at 4:02 am

    […] delightful surprise to find a new blog post from Jan this […]

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